Celiac Woes: Funnel Cake

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If you’ve been following along with all my blogs then you know that my sister Katrina and I have a solid relationship where she has been gluten-free since September 2013 and her and I now have something in common. That being Gluten-Free, same facial expressions, same hair width, same sense of humour, she is practically my twin, only four years late.

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So the other day she texts me about Funnel Cakes and if I remember them? Hell yeah I do, and now I miss them. Me with Celiac Disease misses them a whole bunch (wow, that’s some terrible grammar). A huge Celiac Woe is the fact that I can no longer partake in these bad boys.

So what is a Funnel Cake? Funnel cakes are made by pouring batter, typically good old wheat based pancake flour/batter into hot oil in a circular pattern and deep frying the shit out of it until golden-brown. Sound appealing? BECAUSE IT IS!!! You get this criss-cross mess of delicious dough golden brown and warm and….mmmm ughrg…so good.

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Locally there is a theme park called Canada’s Wonderland, and all my life they have served this confectionary God. If I remember, you can get these guys at carnivals, baseballs games and other theme parks. I remember that one pavilion in Epcot served them too (I’m also sure the last time I had one was July 2005 in that very pavilion. Shared it with my wife too. Talk about ironic. The one last Funnel Cake I ever had before being diagnosed was shared. C’MON!).

I even remember one story where I had my sister bring me a funnel cake from Wonderland, even though I wasn’t there. Good times.

Now, as I write this, it is dawning on me that I could in fact make a Funnel Cake. I could do it right now. Make it with any gluten-free batter and just go to town. But that’s not the point, the point is not being able to get my mitts on a Funnel Cake at a theme park anymore. It’s all a part of the experience of the day. Rides and games and vomit and characters, and in the end, Funnel Cake.

Funnel Cake, funnel cake FUNNEL CAKE!!!!!!

I will miss you Funnel Cake, only now because my sister reminded me of you.

Fucking Celiac (and fucking sister).

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