Celiac Woes: Funnel Cake

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If you’ve been following along with all my blogs then you know that my sister Katrina and I have a solid relationship where she has been gluten-free since September 2013 and her and I now have something in common. That being Gluten-Free, same facial expressions, same hair width, same sense of humour, she is practically my twin, only four years late.


So the other day she texts me about Funnel Cakes and if I remember them? Hell yeah I do, and now I miss them. Me with Celiac Disease misses them a whole bunch (wow, that’s some terrible grammar). A huge Celiac Woe is the fact that I can no longer partake in these bad boys.

So what is a Funnel Cake? Funnel cakes are made by pouring batter, typically good old wheat based pancake flour/batter into hot oil in a circular pattern and deep frying the shit out of it until golden-brown. Sound appealing? BECAUSE IT IS!!! You get this criss-cross mess of delicious dough golden brown and warm and….mmmm ughrg…so good.


Locally there is a theme park called Canada’s Wonderland, and all my life they have served this confectionary God. If I remember, you can get these guys at carnivals, baseballs games and other theme parks. I remember that one pavilion in Epcot served them too (I’m also sure the last time I had one was July 2005 in that very pavilion. Shared it with my wife too. Talk about ironic. The one last Funnel Cake I ever had before being diagnosed was shared. C’MON!).

I even remember one story where I had my sister bring me a funnel cake from Wonderland, even though I wasn’t there. Good times.

Now, as I write this, it is dawning on me that I could in fact make a Funnel Cake. I could do it right now. Make it with any gluten-free batter and just go to town. But that’s not the point, the point is not being able to get my mitts on a Funnel Cake at a theme park anymore. It’s all a part of the experience of the day. Rides and games and vomit and characters, and in the end, Funnel Cake.

Funnel Cake, funnel cake FUNNEL CAKE!!!!!!

I will miss you Funnel Cake, only now because my sister reminded me of you.

Fucking Celiac (and fucking sister).

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